Shark Attacks! How Common are They? Where do They Occur?

Last week in Australia, one man’s day at beach could have turned into a disaster: He was attacked by a seven-foot bronze whaler shark while surfing about 100 yards out from Sydney’s Bronte Beach.

Fortunately, the man, Simon Letch, stayed calm and “shoved the board at [the shark] like a barge pole.” After taking two bites of the fiberglass board, the shark swam away and Letch surfed back to shore.

“It was only about 10 or 15 seconds that I was waiting for a wave but it seemed like an eternity,” Letch said.

You’d think that this Jaws-style attack would have kept Letch on land, at least for the rest of the day, but the lifeguard said he came back 30 minutes later, replacement board in hand, ready to surf.

Afraid to Get Back in the Water?

Just how likely are you to come across your own “Jaws” while wading in the surf or snorkeling with some Angel Fish?

According to the International Shark Attack File (ISAF), 1,909 confirmed shark attacks have occurred around the world-between 1580 and 2003! Of these, 737 happened in the United States, and 38 people died as a result. Hardly alarming numbers, but the actual number of shark attacks isn’t really known because many areas keep them under wraps so tourism isn’t affected.

Unprovoked shark attacks, the kind where a shark in its natural habitat attacks a (live) human without any apparent reason, do seem to be on the rise, though, say the researchers behind ISAF.

In 2004, there were 61 unprovoked shark attacks recorded worldwide (seven were fatal), up from 57 in 2003. Overall, this number has been growing for the past 100 years, and more people were attacked in the 1990s than in any other decade (and so far it seems that the current decade will break last decade’s record).

***** Your odds of being attacked by a shark? 1 in 11.5 million, says the International Shark Attack File. Being killed by a shark? 0 in 264.1 million. Your risk of drowning, for comparison? 1 in 2 million. *****

Keep in mind, though, that if you’re involved in a shark attack that’s deemed “provoked,” that attack will not be included in the tally. What constitutes a provoked shark attack or an attack that’s not “unprovoked”? Those that involve:

* Sharks and divers in public aquaria or research holding pens

* “Scavenge damage” to already dead humans (typically drowning victims)

* Attacks on boats

* Attacks in which a human initiates contact with a shark (such as a diver grabbing a shark)

Why are shark attacks on the rise? It’s less complicated than you may think … Say the researchers at ISAF, it’s because humans are spending more time in the water.

Where Are Shark Attacks Most Common?

Though images of Great Whites gliding through Australia’s Great Barrier Reef may come to mind, most shark attacks happen in North American waters. Within the United States, shark attacks happen most often in Florida and then in:

* California

* Texas

* Hawaii

* North Carolina

* Alabama, Oregon and South Carolina (tied)

Worldwide, after North American waters, the most shark attacks occur in:

* Australia

* Brazil

* South Africa

* Reunion Island (in the Indian Ocean)

* The Bahamas, Cuba, Egypt, Fiji, New Zealand and Venezuela (tied)

***** In the United States, you’re more likely to be killed by a deer (through auto accidents), dog, snake or mountain lion than you are by a shark. *****

How to Prevent Shark Attacks

First and foremost, if you want to be sure a shark won’t attack you … don’t go in the ocean. Next on the list is, don’t go in the water if you see a shark, and then don’t go in if you’re bleeding-sharks can detect even minute amounts of blood from very far away (this applies even to menstruating women). The Florida Museum of Natural History Ichthyology Department offers these other shark safety tips:

* Swim in groups-sharks are most likely to attack a person who’s alone.

* Don’t swim too far from shore (you’re farther away from help and more isolated).

* Don’t go in the water at night or during twilight hours when sharks are most active.

* Leave shiny jewelry at home-a shark could mistake it for shiny fish scales.

* Don’t swim in areas used by commercial or sport fisherman where bait is used often (if there are diving seabirds around, it’s likely this is the case).

* Don’t swim if you have an uneven tan-sharks don’t like tan lines! (seriously, the contrast could attract them).

* The same goes for bright colored clothing-sharks may be attracted to it.

* Don’t splash excessively or swim with pets (who may thrash around and attract a shark).

* Be careful around steep drop-offs or when between sandbars (these are two areas sharks love).

What to do if a Shark Attacks

In the unlikely event that a shark does attack … swim … and fast. Seriously, if you see a shark the best thing to do is stay calm and swim quickly, but smoothly, back to the shore or surface.

If the shark actually attacks, you should first try to hit it on the tip of its nose (use whatever you have with you-a spear or camera if you’re diving, a surfboard as Letch did, or your own fist). The shark should go away long enough for you to calmly, but quickly, swim away (Discomforting side note: If you can’t get away, and the shark comes back, hitting it on the nose will become less and less effective).

If the shark bites and you’re stuck in its mouth, be as aggressive as you can. Go for the sensitive areas of the eyes and gill openings and hit the shark, hard. Don’t “play dead,” as this won’t help. As soon as the shark releases, get out of the water as quickly as you can (don’t hang around because once there’s blood in the water, the shark will likely come back to attack again).

Chances are very, very small of being attacked by a shark, though, so don’t let Hollywood’s version of a man-eating Jaws (or the disturbing images of the film “Open Water”) keep you from enjoying the surf.

If it makes you feel any better, there are plenty of other things to worry about while you’re at the beach that are more likely to happen than a shark attack … things like dehydration, jellyfish and stingray stings, cutting your foot on a seashell, sunburn, and sand getting wedged in private places, just to name a few.

————

Sources

Seattle Post-Intelligencer April 19, 2005

International Shark Attack File

Sharks!

From the FREE SixWise.com e-newsletter, the Web’s #1 most read newsletter with original articles in all 6 areas of life leading to complete wellness.

Begin Again: The Simple Truth about Getting Debt Free

Revealed by a Debt Expert’s Personal & Professional
Coach…

I first met Jeanna about 6 years ago when I attended a “CASH
FLOW 101 Event” in the Bay Area (Northern California). She
amazed me, facilitating “financial learning” for a room full of
people who came to learn “How to Get Out of the Rat Race”. You
could feel the level of financial intelligence rising in the
room! I enjoyed the interactive learning experience so much that
I became a CASHFLOW Event Facilitator myself the following
year…

I hired Jeanna as my “personal & professional coach” shortly
thereafter. She taught me more of the financial literacy
concepts popularized by Robert Kiyosaki through the “Rich Dad”
books. More importantly, she enlightened me to the specific
changes I needed to make in my own thought patterns, which
ultimately have the greatest positive impact on my financial
life.

What she reveals here is simple and true. See if you can “get
it” and may your financial future forever be improved by what
you learn from her.

Jesse Niesen, COO
STARTOVERTODAY.COM

PS - BE
SURE to get on the next Free Tele-Class!

“Begin Again” By Jeanna Gabellini, The Extreme Abundance
Coach

I coach many people who have had dreams of living a lifestyle of
comfort. They’d like a nice home, with money in the bank for
security and enough money in their pocket to not feel strapped.
But there is one problem. They have begun to believe that they
will always be struggling as the dream has not manifested. Even
worse, some folks have gone backwards in their finances in
recent years due to a variety of circumstances.

My job is to tell them the truth. Sometimes they resist this
truth and have a hard time believing me. It is simply this: It
doesn’t matter what your financial status/success has been or
not been up to this point. You can turn things around at any
moment. Looking into your past is only good for learning. You
can see what you thought and the actions you took that worked
successfully for you and then look at the habits you continually
acted from that did not work and do something different.

I have been in a position where I had no worries about money and
I have been in a position where I had no idea how I was going to
pay the house payment that was due in 2 days. But what always
works, no matter where you are currently is to know where you
are going. I was very clear in my mind that I would find a way
to pay all my bills and I would not dip into my retirement fund
or borrow the money. I made those boundaries because that is
what felt good to me. You have to create your own rules to live
by.

Because I was committed to paying the bills, I always found a
way. Sometimes the way found me. The important thing to remember
is to get very clear on what you do want, not what you don’t
want. Many of my new clients give lots of thought to all the
things they don’t want. They think and say, “I don’t want to go
into debt. I don’t want to be late on bill payments. I don’t
want to lose my house. I don’t want to struggle forever.”

Guess what my first question is? What do you want? Let’s focus
on what you do want in your life and then you can begin to put
some new positive patterns in your both your thinking and
actions. Create a road map to your goal and start believing you
can have it.

I like to start the process by getting clear on what my big
outrageous goals are. You may not be able to dream big right
away if you have had recent hardships, so go as big as you can.
Next, I ask myself what do I want in the next six months. What
are the six most important things for me to be, have or achieve?
What about in a month? And then this week. I always write these
out or print them off my computer and post in several places to
be seen daily. You have to keep your eye on the end result or
you will get bogged down in the obstacles that are staring you
in the face.

Every moment you have an opportunity to begin your path to
wealth or even just comfort. If you fall back into old patterns,
quickly forgive yourself and begin again. Most importantly,
remember to have fun in this game. Most people get very serious
and stressed about money. Those who see it as a game are less
attached and actually attract more money.

In abundance,

Jeanna

“The Extreme Abundance Coach”

“Life is either the Greatest Adventure in the World, or it’s
not. You choose…” - John Milton Fogg

“Fishing Kit Basics”

Before going deeper into the technicalities, make sure that a
fishing license is secured. To be an amateur fisherman there are
basic pieces of fishing equipment needed to complete your
exciting journey in the fishing world. Knowing the line type and
matching the right rod and reel to the fishing technique is just
basic common sense. Match these tools appropriately and expect a
more enjoyable experience for a more comfortable fishing. There
are several things that causes the reel to turn into a bird’s
nest, don’t worry, even experienced fishermen encounter this
every now and then.

The main objective is to match the rod, the reel, the line and
the lure. These will only cost a newbie around $25 to $40 and
they could last for years. The 3 main issues when shopping for a
rod are: Guides that are attached to the rod; Grip or handle
holds the rod and could come in either cork or foam. They come
in different lengths so the comfort to the user must be
considered; and the reel seat where the reel is connected.

Dealers make a lot of fishing rods that could either be single
or consist of two or more pieces when assembled. The connection
is very simple; just connect the male and female ends together
to make sure the guides are lined up. This would only last for a
minutes. Sometimes, lubricants are needed. When shopping for a
rod, slightly bend it to get the feel of it. Again comfort
should be considered when using the equipment.

Rods of any type will work. It should be around 6′ long and
medium weight. Even a long stick will work. This should be long,
straight and flexible so it will not easily break. The most
popular rod is Graphite because it is so light yet so strong.
Wispy rods should be up to 4m long to be used for long casts in
moderate winds.

There are a lot of fishing lines to choose from and it can be
very confusing to find the best. It is mostly made of nylon and
“monofilament” that comes in spools of different lengths that
are called Tests. The larger the fishing line the thicker it is
in diameter. Find a piece of a 4lb. or 4 lb. Test that is almost
10′ long for the basic rig.

The basic rule is that all the gears should match. To summarize
your fishing kit, it should include other stuff as well: net,
stringer, line clippers, fishing knife, first aid box, a pail of
bait, sunglasses, fishing hat, and talking about the basics,
don’t forget your SNACKS!

Are You a American Web Page Inventor?

I’ve been watching the American Inventor lately and boy-howdy can you get some useful tips about marketing and presentation! If you haven’t seen the show, here’s a quick overview: The inventors get a 60 second shot at presenting their product to a panel of 4 Entrepreneurs, each are marketers and interested in promoting a new product. What’s at stake? A million dollars! And a chance to become famous!

What’s interesting about this process is that the judges ‘tell you’ that the ‘inventor’ (you)…how you present your case, even if your product is bad, is equally important to their decision when choosing a new inventor. NOT ONE INVENTOR HEARD THAT MESSAGE. Each person is so embedded, so over-focused in their own product, they aren’t paying attention to advice the panel just offered about what the panel wants to see, and as a result most seriously bomb because they design a presentation ‘they think’ the panel wants to see! As a result they can’t ‘convert’ the panel of judges to buy in on their idea!

The same thing happens with web page designs. Sites fail because they don’t pay close attention to the customers will want. We tend to build what WE think our customers want instead of researching exactly what they want. On the show the inventor gets 60 seconds to sell the panel on their product…a web page gets 2 seconds! Your challenge is far greater than the inventor. Where on the page do you think you’ll be able to grab someone’s attention and keep them focused on YOUR presentation? The headline…simply put. You see, ‘words’ sell not logos, or funny objects….words. Yes…I know you want to brand yourself…great go ahead and brand yourself, but listen up…branding doesn’t convert…read on.

The message should speak to your customer in a way that keeps them on your page as they continue to read your proposition. It doesn’t matter how great or poor your product is…if you instantly speak to your customer and provide them with what they want…they will most likely buy. Remember, people don’t buy because they need, they buy because the want, it’s up to you to create that emotional connection and convince them to want your product.

Here’s an exercise: Take a moment, step back and take a look at your pages and ask yourself: “do my headlines keep me on this page? Does this page compel me to buy?” If the answer is no…then you know what to do next, find a good copywriter that knows how to write pages that sell, don’t go to your web designer who knows nothing about writing copy, these are two distinctively different skills and you want to work with the one that will best suit your objectives.

To Your Success!
Rod Kelly
AfterLive Marketing
http://www.afterlivemarketing.com
Learn How to Think Like a Marketer

Rod Kelly is the founder of Afterlive Marketing. Email him at info@afterlivemarketing.com.

The Power of Words in Advertising

In most promotional material, aside from the attractive colors and images, the content serves as the primary enticing factor that lures customers to visit your store or give you a call.

Words are important in expressing your ideas. The shortest words are the best and the briefest sentences are best. You should remember that in creating ads a distinct and clear-cut impression is best expressed by short words and short sentences. A good ad and a good salesman both show appreciation of words and their effect. Neither says too little and both are interesting and business-like in their remarks. Take a look at the most successful business man. Analyze his style of dealing his customers. You would note that the great charm of spontaneity and off handedness accompanies his remarks. He is intelligent, satisfactory and specific.

Now, note that the language of your advertisement should be like the successful business man. It should be specific to the degree that it gives necessary information in a business-like style. Keep in mind that a good ad is original because it tells the tale of your values in a manner peculiar to itself. If you have real interest in your products and can write exactly what you feel regarding their qualities, you will find no difficulty in investing your ads with sufficient originality to make them interesting. But originality for originality’s sake does not amount to so much in advertising. It is second to genuineness, brevity and clearness.

So let’s say you want to produce that winning poster or brochure. Your focus should not only be the design but the content as well. You must carefully choose the words that you will use. It does not really matter if you only have a few words as long as you are able to effectively carry your message across to your customers. With a good headline and content, chances are you will encourage your prospects to take a second look at your goods. Understand that a good headline possesses a distinct financial value. Its commercial importance is proven by the increased business it influences as compared with the trade brought by the ordinary advertisement capped with the ordinary headline.

Remember also that there is a very slim line between knowing too much and knowing too little about the products to be advertised. The right kind of an advertising writer sees the goods through the eyes of the public. Seeing the goods thus, he speaks the arguments best designed to influence the public. Hence, most of the time a good headline and content is not enough. You have to also make sure that the content can effectively influence your prospects.

For comments and suggestions kindly visit Printing Services Online

Helping Displaced Pets of Hurricane Katrina

The temporary shelters are filled and the pets left behind by victims of Hurricane Katrina are turning up in shelters and Humane Societies across the South.

Many rescuers have stopped trying to find the dogs and cats, and have opted to just leave food and water for the unlucky thousands of animals trying to survive.

The Atlanta Humane Society is currently housing pets that belong to Hurricane Katrina evacuees in the Atlanta area and is offering free medical assistance to any evacuee pet in need.

The Arizona Humane Society is in New Orleans trying to help provide for the pets left behind.

“It’s very dire,” Kim Noetzel told Reuters News Service. Noetzel is the marketing director for the Arizona Humane Society and the organization is doing everything it can to help the displaced dogs and cats affected by Hurricane Katrina.

We all can help too.

The Atlanta Humane society is accepting donations for its relief efforts on its website, www.atlantahumane.org.

PetSmart Charities Rescue is providing specially designed vehicles to transport dogs and cats from hurricane-ravaged areas into safety. Over 150 animals have been saved by the rescue effort from one of the largest pet store chains in the country.

Those who want to help PetSmart’s efforts can make tax-deductable donations by calling 1-800-423-PETS or visiting www.petsmartcharities.org.

Petfinder.com has set up a database to help reunite pets left behind by the disaster as well as try to find home for pets without one. The database, according to the website, features the following:

- A place where displaced hurricane victims post the locations of their pets so that rescuers can go in and save them.

- Rescuers post the descriptions and photos of pets they find.

- Volunteers post their offers of foster care for displaced pets.

Petfinder.com also has an area where those who want to help can make a donation to help support the Petfinder.com Foundation Disaster Fund.

According to the Orlando Sentinel, an estimated 30,000 pets have been left homeless by Hurricane Katrina. Helping websites like www.katrinafoundpets.com, can help reunite loved ones with the furry friends they had to leave behind.

Author Hannah Chastain loves dogs and works for DoggieDeliveries.com, a company known for gourmet dog treats and dog gift baskets. For more information on Doggie Deliveries, visit http://www.doggiedeliveries.com

Fragrance - Is It Natural?

95% of chemicals used in fragrances are synthetic compounds derived from petroleum. It has been estimated that more than 3000 different chemmcials are used in fragrance production. Do these figures shock you? Yes, manufacturers are very clever - we see the packaging and the adverts showing flowers and nature, and we assume (as the manufacturer intends us to assume) that the fragrance in the product is derived from nature, but most fragrances are chemically derived. They do not use essential oils because they are too expensive. They do use synthetic chemicals because they are cheap.

We are exposed to perfume or fragrance throughout the day. We may not wear perfume ourselves, but our shampoo, soap, shower gel and cosmetics are likely to contain synthetic perfumes, unless we look at the label and shop carefully.

We encounter more smells in our household products - cleaners, washing powders, polish, air fresheners, etc. If we go out, we experience these smells on other people and in offices and stores.

Perfume mixes added to products are listed in the ingredients as ‘parfum’ or ‘fragrance’ depending on the part of the world you live in. Even some products that appear to be unperfumed will contain synthetic perfumes in order to cover an unpleasant odour from one of the active ingredients, or to ensure that the product always smells the same. The exact composition of these may vary over time even for the same product, as the manufacturer adjust the fragrance mix in relation to variations in the smell of the raw ingredients.

Even some essential oils are not entirely natural, as harsh chemicals may be used in their extraction process. Chemical solvents such as hexane and heptane are used to extract the maximum amount of oil from the plant, so it is important to buy good quality oils from a source you trust.

Allergies to fragrances are very common. The main organs affected are the skin and the respiratory system, but neurological damage has also been reported. Some people feel that we should have a right to fragrance-free air as well as tobacco-smoke-free air. There are also concerns about the impact of synthetic chemicals on the environment, as they do not necessarily break down easily.

Of course, there is a role for fragrance. The power of aromatherapy oils to heal and lift the spirits is well documented, but the widespread use of synthetic fragrances should be seen as pollution of both our bodies and our environments.

Jane Thurnell-Read is a writer and researcher on health, stress, allergies, happiness and alternative medicine. More of her writing can be viewed at www.healthandgoodness.com

Find Out How CRM Software System Works

If your business is having trouble getting over the proverbial hump, a quality CRM software system may be the key to reaching that next level. CRM stands for Customer Relationship Management, and this type of software can be an effective way to learn more about your customer base while improving the bottom line. In this article, we’ll discuss this unique business tool, and find out how CRM software system works to improve both relationships and profits.

The basic idea behind an effective CRM strategy is to learn more about the customers you currently have so that you are better able to serve them. While this sounds simple enough, the fact of the matter is that often times businesses are unaware of this information, or worse yet do not think it is important. This is a crucial error that may be costing your business hundreds of thousands of dollars every year. A quality CRM software system works to give you insight into what makes your client base tick; so that you will be able to provide them with the options that they are really looking for. How does a CRM software system work to gain such information? Let’s take a closer look.

Wouldn’t it be great if you could implement a CRM software system and see the results just roll in? Unfortunately, that is not how it works. Rather, a successful CRM system hinges on your ability to collect and gain insight into your customers through a wide variety of methods. Through marketing campaigns, phone surveys, web site traffic, and mailings, you can start to get a clearer picture as to the preferences of your customers. You can then input this data into a CRM software system, which will analyze your findings for certain patterns. The next step involves employees of your company sifting through these findings to gain better insight into what strategies to focus on next. Proper employee training is just one of the keys to a successful CRM software system. Let’s now turn our attention towards a couple more keys.

To take advantage of the benefits offered by a CRM software system, you must first have a clear understanding of your customer base. For instance, a bank will need a different strategy than say a hardware store. With different clients expecting different types of service, every business has a responsibility to identify the needs of their customer base, and then work a plan based around these needs. Secondly, it is vital that you collect as much information and insight as you can. This will increase the chances for your CRM software system to come up with an innovative and successful business model, which should hopefully increase your profit margin. Lastly, it is important that all of your employees have the proper training and belief in the capabilities offered by a CRM software system. This will help to ensure that everything is being done towards the common goal of improving customer service.

We hope that this article gives you the information needed to find out how CRM software system works. If used properly, a CRM software system can be a great asset to any company. It can stabilize current relationships while helping to build new ones. If you would like to improve your business in a multitude of ways, why not consider a CRM software system?

Stu Pearson has an interest Finance, Business & Technology related topics. To access more information on crm ny software or on crm software, please click on the links.

Merchant Accounts: What to Look For, What to Ask and Why

Accepting Credit Cards

As a small business or a small-small business (under 10 employees) it is important that you consider accepting credit cards if you don’t do so already. People expect to be able to pay with plastic. They can pay with credit cards at fast food restaurants, gas stations, coffee shops and more. It is just expected, fairly or not, that a business be able to accept credit cards.

The first thing you need to do is evaluate Merchant Acounts. You may naturally assume that it is just easier to use your bank to set up your account. Well, that is convenient, but is it really in your best interest.

Many small businesses fall into the trap of latching onto their first merchant account and staying with them because of the convenience. They do this to their detrement. Over the past few years rates have lowered, while these small companies, out of loyalty or convenience, have been stuck paying the same rate they had when they first started.

Those of you familiar with credit card processing know that there are several fees associated with it. There are several things you need to know
prior to associating with a merchant account provider:


  • Discount rate: This is the percentage that the merchant account provider receives

  • Equipment: Terminals, printers, etc.,

  • Monthly Minimums: Fees collected each month by the merchant account provider (usually waived if your transaction fees and discount rates exceed it.

  • Reserve Fees: If you are considered a High-Risk business you may have to set up a reserve account which is a way for the merchant account provider to proect themselves from losses.

  • Charge back fees: To cover charge disputes

These are all things you should ask about going into talks with any merchant account provider.

Once you have your account, you will need processing equipment. Oh…I can here the groans now. You can start out inexpensively with a phone and an imprinter, but you may find that you will receive more favorable discount rates by using electronic card processing equipment, such as those that allow you to swipe a customers card and authorize sales instantly. They are more expensive, but will save you money in the long run. One way to cut this cost is to set up your PC to authorize sales instead of a terminal.

Online merchant accounts are another consideration. You will need virtual versions of the credit card processors described above:


  • Secure Gateway: This translates the information entered onto your website into data that can be read by an electronic card processing system.

  • Virtual Terminal: This eleminates the need for a physical point-of-sale card processing system.

In addition, these are some “nice to haves” that people have come to expect from online merchant accounts:

  • Online Shopping Cart

  • Encryption

  • Virtual check processor

  • Wireless terminals

Go into aquiring a Merchant Account with your eyes open. It is a service that you will need if you plan on being competitive, so make sure you do it right.

Yolanda McDonald is Business Systems Analyst in Baltimore, MD. She has 15 years of experience in programming, design and analysis on several platforms including Midrange, Client/Server and the Internet. You can find more of her articles at http://www.ymcdonald.com.

The Freedom to Fall

So you want a soulmate do you? Okay not necessarily something
that big and cosmic but ‘happily ever after’ would suffice just
fine. Maybe you have somewhat of an idea the type of person
you’re looking for and you want to place your order with the
cosmos - ‘one true love meant for only me, please and thank
you.’ Let me ask you this - are you ready? Are you worthy? Do
you have the freedom to fall madly head over heals in love? Have
you made a space for that one true love to fit so beautifully
nested into your life? Don’t be foolish and assume that all
things will just naturally fall into place once they show up.
Come on now, you know better than that. Life doesn’t play like
that.

The rules of manifesting dictates that you have to make room for
that which you are wanting to attract into your life. You know
that two things cannot occupy the same space. When we want new
clothes, we have to first clear out the old ones from our
closets as part of letting the universe know that we are making
ready a space for that new wardrobe. Nature abhors a vacuum;
something will come to fill that space. The closet never stays
empty for very long does it?

So have you made a space for your beloved? Are you single and
free? Free to fall doesn’t just mean that you are technically
not dating or married. You can be married to your job, your
hobbies, your workout routine, your children, your pets, your
church, your parents, or the memories of someone you are no
longer intimate with. You can have these things in your life and
walk within balance knowing that they are not the one true love
that feeds that place in your soul that only a romantic partner
can fill. However, when you replace the love of ‘happily ever
after’ with your career or with parenting, then you have given
your beloved’s special place away to another. You are married in
essence to that which has taken the place of a strong romantic
bond.

Are you married or involved with someone else while calling your
soulmate to you? Perhaps you want your new love to rescue you
from your current situation. Perhaps you feel too vulnerable and
afraid to be single until the right one comes along. Perhaps you
are simply selfish and don’t want to do without someone in your
life. Whatever the reason, you want to create a new love before
leaving the failed relationship.

It’s no good. You are telling the universe that you do not trust
it to provide you with real love. You are also telling the
universe that you are not strong enough to hold up your end of a
relationship. If you cannot show integrity towards the one you
are ending with, then how are you supposed to be honest with the
new one? If you are not strong enough to be single and walk
alone until the right one comes along, then you do not deserve
your soulmate’s presence. Soulmates are not magical healers and
fixers of life. They are your twin soul. They are you in a
second body. If you are not strong enough to wait for that one,
then you cannot have that one.

“Okay,” you say, “then just give me a really nice person that I
can happily spend the rest of my life with. You are right, I’m
not all that strong and I’m not really able to be alone for any
length of time. So, just give me a very nice person that’s not
quite a soulmate.” Relationships created in desperation, need,
and greed very rarely work out. What you’ve just told the world
is that you’re desperate and anyone will do. And that’s what
you’ll get, anyone - not the one. You must be romantically
unattached when you begin your search for love. It’s karma, it’s
trust, it’s morals, it’s only fair.

And what of your overall worthiness - are you worthy? This is
not a beat yourself up question. Imagine that special person is
alive and real flesh and blood person out in the world searching
this very moment for ‘happily ever after’ just like you are. Are
you the kind of person that you would spend time searching for?
If the person meant for you was indeed your perfect match, what
would they look like? How would they behave? How would they feel
and respond? Look into the mirror my friend - are you what you
are looking for? Until the person you see in the mirror is
worthy of your love and attention, then you will not recognize
your twin soul. For they share your essence. Become the type of
person that you would want to find and in so doing so you will
become the kind of person that your rightful partner wishes to
find. Now you will be able to recognize each other and accept
each other. Trust me, there is nothing worse than finding your
soulmate when you are both screwed up and dysfunctional -
intense and ugly, rather than intense and beautiful.

If you want to call a magical cosmic kind of love into your
life, then you must look at what your life is now. Is it
inviting and warm? Would it nurture or challenge true love’s
growth? Are you ready, really ready? Is the space in your heart,
in your life, in your bed where only one’s most treasured
beloved belongs cleared out and available for them to lay their
weary head once they do find you? My father used to tell me that
he had pockets sewn all over his heart and each of us had a
special pocket in which nobody else could fill. Is the ‘happily
ever after’ pocket of your heart big enough and ready? Is there
space for real love in your life? Are you free to fall?

Copyright 2004, Skye Thomas, Tomorrow’s Edge

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