:Forest Folk

Hate online poker and never want to play again? Just spill something at a home game. It’s the quickest and easiest way to make sure that you never get invited to another game at that house. Sure, the host might be forgiving, but after two or three “accidents” I can guarantee that you won’t be back at that house. If you want to try this simple method but you’re starved for inspiration, here is one of the worst spills that have violated my home.

Several hours into a big online poker game at my house, my guests started getting hungry. I didn’t plan ahead by ordering pizza or making anything, so I just said to get whatever was available in the kitchen, which they were more than happy to do. Problem solved-until someone made soup. I’ll admit that I’m partially to blame because I didn’t provide for my guests, but soup?

Seriously, SOUP?

Needless to say, a piping hot bowl of clam chowder ended up on the table, the cards, the poker chips, and into a few laps. I’ve never seen a poker game end so quickly and terribly. Everything was so disgusting and beyond repair that it still is the only game that was cancelled midway. We just gave everyone their buy-in’s back, and those that stuck around tried to clean up the mess.

That guy’s still not allowed to eat in my house-he has to eat in the backyard when we play. Don’t be that guy.